


the first day of my life

by supaprittiest



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, F/F, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-15 13:59:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16934550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supaprittiest/pseuds/supaprittiest
Summary: Korra realizes she has more than friendly feelings for Asami. But what will she do about them?Sort of a mix of missing scenes and canon divergence, picks up from after Korra's fight against Zaheer





	1. Chapter 1

In the arms of her father, her eyes met Asami’s, but not for long. It was too painful to see the way her friend was looking at her. Her green eyes which normally conveyed a calm exterior, were flooded with tears and terror. A knot formed in her stomach as she looked around to see the people she cared about most, all sharing a similar expression. But none hurt more than Asami’s.

 

She rolled her head back against her father’s chest and succumbed to the pain, the threat of ending the Avatar cycle finally behind her.  

 

When she awoke, she was in her room on Air Temple Island. How long had she been asleep for? Republic City was days away from the Northern Air Temple- or what was left of it anyways. She looked around to gather her bearings. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary- but she was alarmed by how _quiet_ it was. She couldn’t count the mornings she had been awoken by Meelo and Ikki screaming as they played outside, or by Naga barking at flying bison, or by Rohan’s crying. The only time the island seemed to be truly quiet was when Tenzin took her to a gazebo to force her to meditate.

 

She propped herself up on her elbows to move to the window- but found she could barely hold herself up. Her whole body screamed in pain, and she couldn’t help but cry out in shock. Even as she settled back down against the hard bed, she still hurt everywhere. She couldn’t believe that Tenzin wouldn’t even allow a softer mattress for _this._

 

The door opened. She clenched her jaw, unsure of who to expect. But she was relieved to see Kya rushing to her bedside. In fact, there was no one she would’ve rather seen, except maybe Zaheer so that she could fire bend his smug, saggy face off.

 

“You’re probably pretty sore, huh,” Kya commented as she moved water over Korra’s body. “I only caught the end of that fight, but man, did he ever give you a run for your money!”

 

“Thanks,” Korra muttered, rolling her eyes a little. “Where is everybody? It’s so quiet.”

 

“They thought it would be best to give you some space,” Kya explained. “Tenzin told Pema how easily you wake up. And how much you hate it.”

 

“Maybe I’d sleep better if I had a proper mattress,” Korra retorted. Kya laughed at that.

 

“Don’t worry, your father’s planning on taking you back to the Southern Water Tribe to recuperate,” Kya assured. “My mom can do better work on you than I can.”

 

Korra sighed, and tried to focus on the minuscule relief that the Kya’s healing had on her. Her body was still hurting, but it felt further away, like music playing in a different room. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she didn’t fight it. Even she knew she needed rest this time.

 

When she awoke again, it was dark in her room except for a candle lit in the far corner. She had brought it from home when she had first moved here, it smelled like pine and saltwater, and home. As Korra’s eyes drifted around the room, she noticed the dark figure sitting in the chair wasn’t Kya anymore. It was Asami, staring intently down at Korra.

 

Her breath hitched in her throat in surprise, especially upon noticing their hands loosely joined together. She didn’t feel uncomfortable under Asami’s gaze, but she knew that her friend was looking at her like some kind of project, trying to think of ways to make her better. The bar was pretty low at the moment.

 

“How long have you been watching me sleep?” Korra asked, her voice groggy. Learning from the last time she woke up, she didn’t make any effort to move. And neither did Asami, she kept her hand covering Korra’s, lightly brushing her thumb across her knuckles.

 

“Not long,” Asami assured. “Maybe an hour or so. Work kept me up pretty late today, but I wanted to come by after to see how you were doing. Kya called to tell me that you woke up today.”

 

“Well, I’m doing pretty shitty since you’re wondering,” Korra said. She had meant to sound teasing and playful, but she knew it didn’t come across that way when Asami winced at her words. “How long has it been?”

 

“Two weeks,” Asami said grimly. Korra raised her eyebrows. Two weeks, and she was still in this much pain? She was almost glad she hadn’t been conscious to experience whatever pain she had from the beginning. “Kya thought it might be best to keep you under while your body heals. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better.”

 

“She’s right,” Korra admitted. “I feel useless though. I wish I could be helping to put everything back together.”

 

“You will,” Asami assured, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “There’s always gonna be a disaster that the Avatar needs to fix. You can sit this one out.”

 

Korra smiled a little at that and let out the breath she had been holding. A comfortable silence fell over the two of them for a while, and Korra considered falling back asleep. But Asami kept that watchful eye on her, and she had never been good at relaxing when people were watching.

 

“Asami,” she said, calling her from her thoughts. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Anything,” she replied, offering a smile to encourage her.

 

“You weren’t there when Zaheer had me chained up,” Korra observed. She was surprised she had noticed- the moment had happened so quickly, not to mention she was in the Avatar state at the time. “Where were you?”

 

“Lin told me to stay behind to help the air benders,” Asami explained sadly. “I wanted to come help you, but I don’t think I would’ve been able to do much against those benders.”

 

“I’m glad,” Korra said, before realizing what she had said. “I don’t know what I’d do if they had hurt you too.”

 

“It was the first time I wished I could be a bender,” Asami admitted with a watered down smile. “I felt so useless against those guys.”

 

“Hey, join the club,” Korra joked. Asami let out a humourless laugh. “You’re far from useless. You’re so smart and you see everything for what it’s made of- it lets you see weaknesses that the rest of us miss, because sometimes, I just go into things knowing I can bend my way out of them. Except sometimes I can’t, which is why I need you.”

 

I need you. It was the first time Korra had ever admitted it out loud- to anyone, really, but Asami didn’t miss it either. She smiled a genuine, radiant smile, and that alone was more healing than any water bending that Kya could do. It spread over her like a beam of light, warming her from the inside out. Korra couldn’t help but smile back.

 

“There’s that goofy grin I’ve missed,” Asami said softly, her own smile growing so much that Korra couldn’t even make a comment about how she had called her smile goofy. Her heart was fluttering- why was it fluttering? It was just Asami. Except that it wasn’t. Had she always been so beautiful? Maybe it was how the candle light gently illuminated her face, gilded a couple strands of that ebony hair that always looked like it would be so soft to touch…

 

Korra was lost for words. She was crushing on Asami.

 

“I should get back to sleep,” Korra said abruptly, removing her hand from under Asami’s. She immediately noticed the hurt look on her friend’s face. “Gotta let this rockin’ bod heal a bit so you can have that goofy grin following you around full time again.”

 

“Alright,” Asami said softly. So soft that it gave Korra goosebumps along her arms. She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Korra’s bruised forehead. “Sleep well.”

 

Korra wished that she would kiss better every part of her that was hurting. She watched Asami leave, and didn’t miss the longing look she gave her before closing the door behind her.

 

She added her heart to the list of things that were hurting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feeling like it might be a bit late to jump on the korrasami bandwagon, but i hope people still enjoy it!


	2. Chapter 2

Once Korra could stay awake for a full day at a time, Tenzin and his family returned to the island. Her surface wounds had been healed by Kya in that time, but underneath her body was still tormented by broken ribs and fractured bones and spinal injury. Kya came by on fewer intervals as her abilities became less and less useful to Korra. She could only do so much.

 

Outside she’d hear the children playing all day long- without being able to see out the window, it sounded like there was a tornado with all the air bending they were doing. She longed to be outside with them, practising her bending and improving in a way that was tangible to her. Currently she couldn’t even produce a spark big enough to light a candle. She’d try to water bend the glass of water on her night stand, but the movement was so negligible that she wasn’t sure if it was caused by her or just from her arms rattling the nightstand. She didn’t even want to try air bending- it didn’t come easily to her even before she was crippled. 

 

It was the first time she had trouble learning to bend. From as early as she could remember, she could bend with ease, sometimes even by accident. She nearly burnt down her childhood home the first time that she had fire bent- the result of a particularly violent sneeze. She could water bend all the water out of the well outside her home before she could stand on her own. She could fling boulders over her head before being able to walk. But now, she couldn’t even bend strongly enough to spill her glass of water on the ground. 

 

She needed to see Katara, and soon. 

 

Her father promised he’d take her back to the South Pole only after Jinora’s ceremony for becoming an air bending master. She had insisted that it was important to go. Though her world seemed pretty bleak at the moment, she was immensely proud of the young air bender, and seeing her get her tattoos was the only thing that had brought Korra joy since the defeat of Zaheer. 

 

Her friends stopped by too. Mako didn’t come by often, but he did make sure to check on her occasionally or send updates through Bolin, who would sneak her sugar cakes and instant noodles to make up for the disgustingly bland food that Tenzin was forcing her to eat (“kale is a super food, Korra!”). And of course, Asami. 

 

She’d come by every night after work, slinking silently into the bedroom, but despite her best efforts, Korra always woke up at the sound of the door opening and closing. After everything she’d been through, it was hard for her to sleep soundly. 

 

“I’m leaving after Jinora’s ceremony,” Korra announced grimly one night. Asami met her gaze with vacant eyes, unsure of whether she should be happy for her friend or sad about her own loss. 

 

“It’ll be good for you,” Asami agreed. Korra wasn’t sure if she was trying to sound agreeable or if she was trying to cover up her own sadness about the loss. She hoped for the latter. A weighted moment passed between them. “Do you want me to come with you?”

 

Korra was surprised at the offer. Her heart screamed yes, but she considered the consequences. Being forced to see Asami all day every day, while trying to heal her body and harbouring this excruciating crush on her… There was no way Asami was attracted to women, let alone her, and the thought of being rejected by her was too painful to consider. 

 

“No, I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Korra said, looking down. Asami reached out and grasped Korra’s hand. 

 

“You aren’t asking- I’m offering,” Asami insisted. Korra rolled her eyes. 

 

“You have Future Industries to look after,” Korra argued. 

 

“I have you to look after too,” Asami countered. She had put some thought into this, Korra realised. Her heart skipped a little as she started to give in a little. 

 

“My dad’s gonna have the whole South Pole looking after me,” Korra pointed out. “I’m gonna have more fussing over than I’ll know what to do with. Stay here and fuss over… buildings and stuff. I’ll be okay.” 

 

Asami smiled sadly, but dropped the issue. Her hand stayed passively holding Korra’s. Tonight, Korra looked over Asami, drinking in every detail of her. She didn’t have very many nights like this left, and she wanted to memorize everything about her before she wouldn’t be able to see her. 

 

“What is it?” Asami asked softly, staring back down at her intently. Korra cleared her throat and fought the urge to tell her how pretty she looked in her casual clothes- a burgundy knit sweater and black, skin tight pants. 

 

“Nothing,” Korra lied. “Would you… would you do my hair for Jinora’s ceremony? I can barely brush it.”

 

“Of course I will,” Asami agreed, smiling brightly. “Do you want me to brush your hair for you now, too?”

 

Korra paused. Her hair hadn’t been brushed in days, and was likely matted from tossing in her nightmare ridden sleep. She shouldn’t indulge herself by letting Asami play with her hair, shouldn’t make these feelings stronger, but the idea was too tempting to pass up. 

 

“I’d like that,” Korra relented. Asami picked up a hair brush from the vanity, and returned to the bed. 

 

“Can you sit up a little? If it’s not too painful,” Asami asked. Korra nodded. Now that the bones in her arms had healed more, she could push herself up in bed. She still couldn’t move her legs on her own, but Kya assured that Katara had healed much worse. 

 

Asami slipped into the bed behind Korra, gathering her thick dark hair in her hands. 

 

“You can lay back now,” Asami offered. Slowly, Korra leaned back against Asami, who parted Korra’s hair so it lay on two equal halves over her shoulders, to brush her hair without pulling it. She hoped Asami couldn’t feel her heart pounding against her rib cage. “Your hair looks nice when it’s down like this.”

 

“Thanks,” Korra replied, her voice coming out somewhat squeaky. Luckily, Asami didn’t comment on it. She was grateful that Asami couldn’t see her blush. 

 

They sat in silence as Asami ran the comb through Korra’s hair, which wasn’t as tangled as she had expected it to be. Once Asami was satisfied with her work on her hair, she set the brush on the nightside table, and ran her fingers through Korra’s hair absentmindedly, massaging her fingertips gently against Korra’s scalp. 

 

Korra knew she shouldn’t, but she indulged herself in the moment. There weren’t many things that made her happy these days, so this rare moment of bliss was welcome to her. She leaned her head back against Asami’s soft chest, rising and falling with her breath. Asami gently tucked a piece of hair behind Korra’s ear. 

 

“Are you tired?” Asami asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “I can leave if you want to rest.”

 

“No, don’t,” Korra protested, a little too quickly. “I’m really comfy right now.”

 

It wasn’t a lie. Sitting up for the first time in two weeks was a welcome change, and being propped up against Asami’s soft body was much better than the stiff mattress that was starting to give her bed sores. But she also wasn’t willing to let the moment pass so quickly. 

 

“Okay,” Asami relented, dropping one hand to wrap around Korra’s waist in somewhat of a hug. “You can fall asleep if you’d like. I don’t have anywhere to be.”

 

The moment was too intimate- there was no way this was just emotional comfort between two friends. Korra’s mind was reeling with the idea of Asami possibly being… gay? Was that was  _ she  _ was? It was never something she had considered. She had never been attracted to another woman, not like this anyways. Sure, she had noticed some beautiful women in her travels, but she never wanted them like she wanted Asami. 

She searched desperately for anything else to think about. And of course, her mind went to her most recent trauma, which wasn’t much better than this insufferable infatuation. 

 

“What happened to Zaheer?” Korra asked, suddenly realizing she hadn’t heard of him since she had taken him down at the Northern Air Temple. Everyone walked on eggshells around her when it came to that particular subject.

 

“Oh,” Asami said, as if it hadn’t occurred to her that she should fill Korra in on that matter. “He’s in another White Lotus prison, on the highest mountain in the Fire Nation. The air is much thinner than it is anywhere else, so he won’t be air bending his way out of there any time soon. And if he  _ did  _ manage to break out, he’d die from exposure to the elements before he could possibly make it to the bottom of the mountain to do any damage.” 

 

“Wow,” Korra breathed, the tension in her shoulders ebbing away. “That sounds perfect.”

 

“Of course it is,” Asami said proudly. “I designed it.” 

 

Korra turned her head a little to give Asami a look of shock. Her body groaned in agony at the stretch, but she wanted to see Asami’s face, how it glowed with pride. Asami smiled down bashfully, and Korra settled back against her, feeling much safer than before. 

 

“I told you, you’re not useless,” Korra reminded her. “How did you even have time to come up with that so quickly?”

 

“Well I started planning it as soon as I found out about him, I just never mentioned it to you because you were so focused on finding those air benders, I didn’t want to distract you,” Asami explained. “But I knew we’d have to do something with him once you eventually took him down, so I drew up the design and sent it over to Lord Zuko. He loved it.” 

 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Korra sighed. Asami kissed the top of her head so gently she might’ve imagined it. For the first time in months, she felt safe enough to drift off into a blissful sleep, with no nightmares to wake her every few hours.

 

She didn’t see Asami for a few days after that, which she was almost grateful for. She needed some time to cool off after that night. The next time she saw her friend wasn’t until a few hours before Jinora’s ceremony. Kya had helped Korra get dressed, and left her waiting in the wheelchair that Asami had dropped off the other night. 

 

When Asami had arrived, she didn’t say anything as she fixed Korra’s hair into a covered bun. Korra didn’t say anything either. Her impending departure hung over the two of them like a dark rain cloud. She didn’t feel like herself at all. Her desire to speak was gone, her humour was gone- she felt like a hollow version of herself.  She wanted to be happy for Jinora on this day she had waited for for so long, but it was hard for her to even stay awake. 

 

She muttered her thanks to Asami, who tried offering some words of comfort. They fell short on Korra’s ears. She hated being so abrupt with her, but it was probably for the best to force some distance between them. 

 

She cried during Jinora’s ceremony. 

 

Asami noticed, but Korra brushed it off, assuring that she was just proud of the young bender. It wasn’t an entire lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Watching everyone air bend to ring the wind chimes in the temple… She wished she could be a bigger part of it. For Jinora. For Republic City. For herself. 

 

So when the time came for her to finally leave for home, she was glad. Her friends walk her down to the dock, but she felt suffocated. Bolin thrust a letter into her hands, and she was glad she didn’t have to respond to anything right away. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come keep you company?” Asami asked, placing her hands on Korra’s shoulders. 

 

“I’m fine. It’ll only be a few weeks,” she assured, though honestly, she wasn’t sure how much time it would take for her to feel better enough to come back to Republic City. The uncertainty frightened her, but she was determined to get better. The world depended on it. “Some time alone will be good for me.”

 

Her father took the wheelchair from Asami and pushed her onto the ship. He sat her on the top deck so she could see everything. She wasn’t surprised to see Mako leaving already, a sobbing Bolin in tow. But Asami waited at the dock, staring back up at her. 

 

Korra turned her chair away to hide her own tears.


	3. Chapter 3

Korra hadn’t expected to leave behind her motivation to get better in Republic City. As soon as she was back in her own bed, she never wanted to leave. At first, it was nice. The plush mattress, the familiar smells and textiles, her own decorations. Enough space for Naga to sleep beside the bed and guard her so she could sleep peacefully. 

 

But her body wasn’t accustomed to the Water Tribe diet anymore. Her stomach had grown used to the vegetarian lifestyle that Tenzin had enforced on her. She couldn’t handle the fatty seal dishes, the squid, hardly any seafood. But the smells were heavenly, and she could practically  _ taste  _ her old favourite foods, no matter how sick they made her. But no matter how badly she wanted it, it only made her body hurt more.

 

Similar to her feelings about Asami. 

 

The thought of Asami caused her to curl up tightly under her sheets. Katara had healed her spine enough that she could move it without making it worse, but it still seemed to crunch every time she moved. She was finding their sessions to be next to useless actually. They discovered that the reason Korra couldn’t move her legs wasn’t due to being paralyzed, but being so badly injured had taken almost all their strength. Tendons were severed, bones were broken, toenails ripped off (and grown back), feet covered with blisters and road burns from sliding across the tops of cliffs. Luckily, she had been unconscious while they picked the gravel out of her feet. All of this damage meant that Korra had to relearn how to move her leg muscles, but it wasn’t coming easily to her. And it was frustrating as hell, not even being able to wiggle her toes or bend her knees or lift her own legs to tuck herself in at night. 

 

Staring at the wall in her room was more appealing than putting in any effort to fix her broken body. Her mother would take her outside for a few hours every day, to give her a change of scenery and fresh air while she had someone change her sheets. Sometimes her mother would stay with her outside and they’d talk about all the time they had spent apart, but other times (and more often than not), Korra would prefer to be alone.

 

She had done it a lot growing up too- sneaking out late at night to stare out at the ocean, listening to the waves crash upon the icy shoreline. The steady rhythmic sound, the smell of sea salt, and the crisp ocean air always cleared her head. But she figured it would take more than half an hour to clear her head this time. 

 

As if on cue, her mother opened the bedroom door. 

 

“I just wanted to see if you needed anything before I go to bed,” she said hesitantly. “Maybe a late night snack? Or some water?”

 

“No thanks,” Korra mumbled. “But could you put me outside for a bit?”

 

“Oh- of course,” her mother replied, as if she wasn’t expecting Korra to ask for anything. She eagerly rushed to the bedside and lifted Korra into the wheelchair. Her bedroom had a balcony, so it didn’t take long to get her outside, but to Korra, it couldn’t come fast enough. The night air was brisk against her clammy forehead, but she welcomed it, shutting her eyes and breathing it all in. “I’ll come back for you in a few minutes?”

 

“No, I wanna be out here for a while,” Korra admitted. “Come back in a few hours?”

 

“Korra, you’ll freeze!” her mother protested scornfully. 

 

“Air benders can regulate their body temperature,” she pointed out. She didn’t tell her that she hadn’t learned how to do that yet because she secretly slept through that meditation with Tenzin. 

 

Her mother didn’t say something, but went inside to grab a blanket. She draped it over Korra’s body, before leaving her alone to the night. Finally alone with her thoughts, Korra wheeled up to the edge of the balcony to look down. The ocean was black and churning below her, hissing and angry. 

 

She let out a heavy sigh, watching her breath crystallize in front of her, and leaned back in her wheelchair. The sky was much clearer out here than in Republic City, another sight that she had missed. She could see galaxies and stars- hundreds of them, all of which were drowned out by the artificial lights back in the city, but most importantly, they concealed the Southern Lights. 

 

They waved gracefully across the horizon, glowing pinks, purples and greens and every colour in between. Korra could cry just looking at them. She had missed this phenomenon so dearly. When training at the White Lotus compound, she struggled with the spiritual side of her training, but she always felt her spiritual connection the strongest when she watched the aurora. If only Tenzin could’ve come to the South Pole to do her air bending training- it would’ve saved them a lot of butting heads. 

 

She wished Asami was there with her. Not only to comfort her, but to see how beautiful the sky was at the South Pole. She wished she had been a little more selfish and allowed Asami to come with her to her home. She wished she had stopped chasing Zaheer as soon as she had her freedom, so she wouldn’t be in so much pain at the moment, so she could still walk, let alone bend. 

 

She closed her eyes to meditate for the first time in months. The ocean put her mind at ease instantly, and she found herself in a comfortable state of nothingness for a while. It was relieving to have her thoughts silenced for a short while, until the self awareness sunk in. There was nothing surrounding her. 

 

Normally when she meditated, she could easily slip into the spirit world, find herself in a world where everything seemed… simpler, or at least, more peaceful and happier than her own, save for when the spirits were upset about her latest screw ups. But this time, she couldn’t enter the spirit world at all, not even with all the training Tenzin had given her along her journey. 

 

She opened her eyes, and found she was no longer sitting on a balcony above the ocean, but rather, above the crystal chasm that Zaheer had suspended her from. She could see his entitled, smirky face below her. His words bled like molasses, but she knew he was talking about ending the Avatar cycle. She had lived this before. 

 

She had lived this before. 

 

She awoke from her trance with a start, shaking her head. Her heart was still racing, and while her body was paralyzed with fear, her hands trembled violently. She slowed her breathing to match the crashing of the waves on the shore, and waited for her physical reactions to simmer down. 

 

It felt like an eternity before her mother came out to get her. Maybe demanding to be left alone for three hours out in the cold wasn’t such a good idea. She smirked a little though- she might not have the spirit to push herself to get better, but she did have enough spunk to maintain her stubborn personality. Maybe she wasn’t as hopeless as she thought.

 

When she was returned to her bed, she noticed the pile of unanswered letters beside her bed. It had been almost a year since she left Republic City, since her friends had heard from her. At first, she felt guilty about not responding to them, but then she started to find some comfort in it. She didn’t have to invest any effort, but her friends wouldn’t give up on her. They’d be there too when she got better. 

 

But her heart skipped every time she got a letter from Asami. She never responded, because she didn’t want to leave out Bolin and Mako, but she often thought out her replies to her as she lay in bed all day, as if Asami could read her mind. But it was probably a good thing that she couldn’t- if she knew how Korra felt about her, it would surely cause a rift in their friendship, and she just wasn’t ready for that right now. As if not replying to Asami’s letters for a year hadn’t put a rift in their friendship already. Her letters became fewer and fewer, still more than Mako and Bolin though. She understood though, they were busy moving on with their lives, and she was happy for it. But she woke up every day hoping to hear from Asami.  

 

So she writes back one day. 

 

_ “Hey Asami, _

 

_ Sorry I haven’t written in so long- or I guess, at all, but it’s been hard for me to do anything lately. I still can’t walk, but I can bend a little while I lay down. Katara says I have to repair every muscle in my legs before I can even stand up- it’s about as fun as it sounds. _

 

_ I’ve read all your letters. I’m sorry I never replied, but I miss you, and I think of you all the time-” _

 

She stops writing, and burns the paper in her hands. Reminded of why she hadn’t been writing, she went back to bed and tried to forget that she had even wanted to talk to Asami. But a nagging voice in the back of her head continued to ask why she was fighting this attraction so hard.

 

Honestly, she wasn’t even sure of why anymore. It’s not like it would make anything different- she wouldn’t go back to Republic City to see her unless she could walk again, and that certainly wasn’t happening any time soon, if at all. She could just embrace her feelings now, and break her own heart. 

 

She rolled onto her other side, scowling at the wall. All these feelings were probably just caused by her feeling of helplessness. She wasn’t gay, she didn’t like Asami like that, she didn’t want to date her ex’s ex. 

 

She repeated these thoughts in her mind, over and over, until she fell asleep. 

 

Months passed, and Korra had only managed to move her big toe. Since that revolutionary moment in the healing spa, it was all Korra cared about. She practised it over and over until her toes were cramping, but she didn’t care. This, she was familiar with. Working out and improving the physical state of her body was easy for her. She started eating again to sustain her muscle growth, and drinking water when she needed to recharge. 

 

Eventually, wiggling her toes turned into flexing her feet back and forth, which turned into rolling her ankles, which turned into swimming for hours a day. She was starting to feel like herself again. 

 

She built up the courage to actually write to Asami.

 

_ “Dear Asami, _

 

_ I’m sorry I haven’t written to you, but every time I’ve tried, I never know what to say. The past two years have been the hardest of my life. Even though I can get around fine now, I still can’t go into the Avatar State. I keep having visions of Zaheer, and what happened that night…   _

 

_ Katara thinks a lot of this is in my head, so I’ve been meditating a lot, but sometimes, I worry I’ll never fully recover.  _

 

_ Please don’t tell Mako and Bolin I wrote to you and not them. I don’t wanna hurt their feelings, but it’s easier to tell you about this stuff. I don’t think they’d understand. _

 

_ I think about you a lot. I’ll be back soon. _

 

_ Korra.” _


	4. Chapter 4

Korra stared into the fire for a moment before getting started on removing the poison from herself. Even the weakest flame could be rekindled with a little support, and even though she felt like she was about to fizzle out at any moment, she knew that Toph and Jinora wouldn’t let that happen. They’d protect and nurture her in this moment until she was strong enough to thrive on her own.

 

“Alright, I’m ready,” she announced.

 

“I’m not bending it out of you,” Toph huffed, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall nonchalantly. “You’ve gotta do this on your own. And don’t freak out like last time!”

 

She closed her eyes and focused on herself. She could finally feel the metal in her arms, hot under her skin. Suddenly, she was able to understand why it was inhibiting her so strongly. She got to work on pushing it out, but knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Suddenly, she was back on the cliff with Zaheer, all the air was being sucked out of her and she couldn’t fight it-

 

“Don’t give up,” Toph ordered, breaking through her thoughts when she buckled in pain. She sounded frustrated, but when she spoke next, she actually sounded compassionate. “That fight is over now. Release the fear.”

 

The surprise of her gentle tone was welcome to Korra, and distracted her enough from the initial pain to push through it. The poison beaded on her skin like sweat, and she pushed it away from her. She wanted to stop and take a break, but she wasn’t sure when she’d be able to do this again, if at all. So she went back into her body and mind, and drew out the last droplets of the poison, letting it all collect in front of her. She heard Toph seal it away, and slipped into the Avatar state with ease for the first time in years. 

 

“Well done, Korra,” Toph praised, the first time Korra had ever heard her say anything kind. But she didn’t have time to revel in it, the kids were rushing over to hug her. The moment didn’t last long, but she hadn’t felt so happy in ages. She felt physically lighter, and emotionally stronger. She jumped a couple times, cheering in celebration. 

 

“I feel so much lighter,” Korra observed once the children let go of her. “Thank you so much for helping me! I’d like to give you a hug now, if that’s alright.”

 

“Alright, you earned it,” Toph relented, and Korra picked her up off her feet. “No, no, not like that! Never pick me up ever again!”

 

Korra and the kids laughed, and left Toph alone to restore her peaceful and quiet environment. It was dark, and the trip back to Republic City would take days, but Korra needed the recovery time. She climbed up onto the back of Jinora’s bison and lay back against the soft fur. Her stomach dropped as the bison took off- a feeling she had missed greatly. The wind caressed her cheeks and hair as they flew through the night. 

 

“Where’ve you been?!” Ikki asked, turning around from where she sat on the bison’s head. 

 

“Yeah- did you get lost on your way home?” Meelo joined in. 

 

“Did you get taken hostage by bandits?” Ikki speculated with a mischievous smile. “Because I did-”

 

“Guys, leave her alone,” Jinora butted in. “She’s probably exhausted. She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

 

Normally, Korra would’ve been happy to tell them the stories of her adventures, she had some crazy ones that she was excited to share, but Jinora was right. Bending the poison out of her had wiped her out, and all she wanted to do was rest. Ikki and Meelo turned back around, falling asleep on either side of Jinora. 

 

Korra looked up at the sky above her. It wasn’t the same sky as back home, but the sentiment was the same. The stars were just as bright out here, despite being scattered in different patterns. She saw a couple shooting stars, and didn’t even know what to wish for. She was finally free of her trauma, she was on her way back home, and soon, she would be reunited with her friends, particularly a raven haired engineer who had been on her mind from the second she left Republic City.

 

She drifted to sleep with a smile on her face. 

 

“Your friends are gonna be so excited to see you,” Jinora commented as they drew upon the city a  few days later. “Asami’s been worried sick about you.”

 

Korra’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of Asami. 

 

“Really? What did she say?” she asked a little too quickly, and Ikki giggled. Jinora gave her a knowing smile. Korra coughed awkwardly. “Er.. I’m also curious about Mako and Bolin- what they have to say, and stuff...”

 

All three of the kids were now turning around with a deadpan expression on their faces. Korra rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest.

 

“What? I leave for three years and I can’t be curious about my friends?” Korra protested. 

 

“Korra has a crush on Asami!” Ikki said in a sing song voice. Jinora laughed. 

 

“I do not! I just miss them!” she insisted defensively. They were unwavering in their interrogation. “Okay,  _ fine.  _ Asami is pretty, I’ll give her that. And she’s nice. And smart. And saved my ass a couple times. But that doesn’t mean we’re ever going to be a ‘thing’, so don’t make it weird when we get back, got it?”

 

Satisfied with their efforts, all three of the children started grinning and laughing. Korra couldn’t help but smile bashfully. It was nice to be surrounded by their aloof and playful personalities again- everyone for the past three years had treated her like she was made of glass, refused to treat her as an equal. 

 

“And don’t tell your dad I said the ass word around you guys,” Korra added. Tears started streaming down Meelo’s face as he started laughing harder and harder. “I mean it! I just healed, I don’t need to be taken out again!” 

 

They landed on Air Temple Island shortly after supper time. After catching up with Tenzin and Pema, Korra headed straight for the bathhouse, Naga tagging along close behind her. She hadn’t thoroughly cleaned herself in months, and after being  _ literally  _ dragged through the mud by Toph, she couldn’t get in the tub fast enough. 

 

Korra made sure the water was comfortably scalding before she stepped in. The warmth spread all over her, and the effect it had on her was instantaneous. She rolled her head back against the edge of the tub and let her eyes flutter shut. She hadn’t had a bath since the healing baths she’d had with Katara, and even those didn’t compare to this. There was no pressure to move, no pressure to speak, or bend, or  _ anything.  _ She could finally just relax. 

 

She let her mind roam free for a while. Her mind drifted to Asami, what she’d say when she finally saw her, wonder if she had changed at all, if she was seeing anyone… The last one gave her a bit of anxiety, but she was too content to dwell on it. Then she thought of how she looked at Jinora’s ceremony. Korra had been too upset at the time to appreciate it, but in reflection, she couldn’t get over how beautiful she was. She hadn’t done anything special, but the way she looked after Korra and stood as close as she could at all times, ready to notice any pain or discomfort… 

 

She couldn’t wait to see her again. She jumped out of the tub, rushing to pull her clothes back on. She jumped onto Naga’s back, and the polar bear-dog took off running to the island’s coast.

 

“Hope you don’t mind a little late night swim,” Korra said apologetically to Naga, but the animal’s playful and loyal personality worked in her favour, as usual. She jumped happily into the water, and in no time at all, they had crossed the bay to Republic City. “Stay here girl, I don’t want anyone to know we’re here.”

 

Naga shook the water out of her coarse, dense fur, and obediently curled up on the rocky shoreline. Korra took off on foot, up the hill towards the heart of the city.

 

She had never really gotten a chance to know the city that well- being the avatar took up a lot of her exploring time. However, she did know a couple important streets- where to get the best noodles in town, triad territory, city hall, and of course, Asami’s house. 

 

She walked up to the gate, where two armed guards stopped her. She should’ve expected something like this to happen, especially at this hour. 

 

“Is Miss Sato expecting you?” one of them asked. Korra paused for a moment. She knew (or at least, hoped) that Asami would be happy to see her, but it would definitely be unexpected. 

 

“No,” Korra admitted. “But it’s me, Korra, she knows who I am-”

 

“Heh, she thinks she’s the avatar,” he laughs to the other guard. “Real cute.”

 

Korra growled. They must be newer hires. She never had a problem with Korra’s late visits before she left. 

 

“Want me to prove it?” she sneered, earning her an eye roll from the guard. The other didn’t seem to be following as sharply, but maintained the same unwavering exterior as his partner.

 

“I don’t need you to,” the guard said simply. “If the avatar was back in Republic City, Asami would’ve told us immediately. She’d probably know before anyone else, actually.”

 

“Gin from internal security said she heard Asami’s receptionist mention something about getting a letter from Korra,” the other guard gushed. Korra’s breath hitched. She wondered if Asami had ever written her back- she had left the South Pole before she’d had a chance to see Asami’s reply. 

 

“Precisely. So scram kid, you aren’t getting in,” the first guard said dismissively, giving her a shove on the shoulder. She flashed a warning burst of fire from her hand. 

 

“Call Asami, tell her to come down here and settle this,” Korra demanded. “You two are going to be pretty embarrassed pretty soon here.”

 

“Yeah, embarrassed that you think we would actually call down Asami so you can attack her right in front of us,” he countered, earning him a laugh from his partner. 

 

“Ugh!” Korra stomped in frustration. “Why would you assume I’m here to attack her?! We’re best friends!”

 

“We’re hired security,” the guard pointed out. “It’s literally our job to assume that everyone is here to attack her.” 

 

“Okay, well if I’m not the avatar, then how do I know that Asami has cameras all over the property? Couldn’t you just ask her to look at one from inside and confirm it’s me?” Korra asked.

 

“I could,” the guard admitted. “But I wouldn’t want to annoy her at this hour like you’re annoying me right now.”

 

“You- You think  _ I’m  _ annoying?” Korra shouted incredulously.  _ “You’re  _ the annoying one! And you know what pal? I can get a whole lot more annoying as you’re about to find out!”

 

“What is all this ruckus about?” asked a calmer voice from behind the gate. The guards stepped apart, revealing Asami. Her jaw dropped a little at the sight of her. “...Korra?” 

 

She was too awestruck to mutter an “I told you so” to the guard, but Asami motioned for them to open the gate. Korra slowly walked toward Asami, and the guards averted their gaze. She’d laugh about it later. Asami was in her night clothes and she had taken her make-up off, but she was still radiant. 

 

“Asami,” Korra breathed, rushing to hug her friend. She lifted her up and spun around a couple times, and Asami laughed, a sound Korra had missed more than anything. “Sorry to barge in like this. I just… I needed to see you.”

 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Asami replied. Korra felt a twinge of guilt for not speaking to her for so long, but Asami ushered her inside before she could dwell on that feeling. “I was starting to think I said something wrong in my last letter, since you stopped replying.”

 

“I left before I could read it,” Korra explained as they walked through the mansion. “What did you say?”

 

“It’s nothing,” Asami said, and Korra swore she saw Asami blush in the dark living room. “Where have you been? I was- we were all so worried about you.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Korra mumbled, but she didn’t miss her slip. “I needed to get some help to get my bending mojo back. I found Toph Beifong and she helped me.”

 

“Woah, I’m gonna need the details on that one,” Asami pressed, her eyes lighting up with curiosity. “But let’s go somewhere where we don’t have to be so quiet. Mako’s family lives here too now, and I don’t want to disturb them.”

 

“Oh.. does Mako live here too now?” Korra asked. She wasn’t sure why she was so disappointed about the news.

 

“Not really,” Asami said. “He follows Prince Wu around pretty much 24/7, so he’s always staying in fancy hotels or palaces. Not a bad gig for him- but I think the prince gets on his nerves.”

 

Korra chuckled at that- she could already imagine Mako at scowling at all the lavish practises of the prince’s daily life, and if what she had heard about Wu was correct, his vain personality would drive Mako up the wall. She cared about her friend deeply, but a petty part of her was secretly glad that he was being forced to learn some patience, and not at her expense, for once.

 

Asami led Korra up a winding marble staircase to a floor of the mansion she had never been. It was as emotionally barren as the rest of the place, but a series of dim golden lights led to a mahogany door at the end of the hall, and Asami opened it to reveal her bedroom. 

 

It wasn’t at all what Korra had expected. There were old pro bending posters (Korra was delighted to see that she had one of her) hanging from the walls, blueprints of machines Asami had designed, photos of their friends… It was a glimpse inside Asami’s heart it seemed, unlike the rest of the house, which seemed devoid of any personal touches. 

 

“Now, tell me everything,” Asami demanded in her usual gentle way as she sat down on her bed. She left room for Korra- though it wasn’t exactly a challenge since the bed was massive, with pillars and a canopy. Korra sat on the opposite side of the bed and tried not to overthink the implications. “I haven’t heard like, anything, about the last three years, so you have a lot of talking to do.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Korra relented. “You might want to get comfortable, there’s a lot.”

 

“Not a problem,” Asami replied, crawling under the silk covers and looking up at Korra with an adoring expression that melted her heart. She patted the bed beside her. “Come on, don’t be shy. I want you to be comfy too.”

 

Korra didn’t have to be asked twice. She kicked off her shoes and got under the covers beside her. She felt a little uncomfortable at first, especially talking about how much she struggled with learning how to walk and bend again. But once she got into the rhythm of her story, and seeing how Asami hung onto every word, she felt more and more at ease as they got used to being in each other’s presence again. It didn’t take nearly as long as Korra had expected. 

 

“But anyways, enough about me,” Korra said after wrapping up her story about Toph. “What have you been up to? I never got to read your last letter, what was it about?” 

 

“Oh,” Asami said, averting her gaze a little. “It’s not really  _ that  _ important.”

 

“Asami, I spent twenty minutes talking about learning how to eat seal meat again, you can tell me whatever mundane ramblings were in your letter,” Korra urged. “And I’m sure it was just as exciting as all your other letters, I mean come on, redesigning the city’s infrastructure? That’s amazing!”

 

Asami grinned bashfully, and rolled her eyes. Korra prodded her shoulder a little to coax the words out of her like she had just days before with the poison inside of her. She was an Asami bender, she thought, smiling at the implications that came along with that. 

 

“Well, first I talked about how I excited I was to finally hear from you,” Asami teased, jabbing Korra playfully in the chest. Korra laughed a little. “And that I had started visiting my father.”

 

“Really?” Korra asked, unsure of what to think about that. Getting Asami’s father arrested was one of the first things she had accomplished as the avatar, but she always felt guilty that it had to be at the expense of someone she had grown so close to. “How is he?”

 

“He’s good,” Asami replied, gaining confidence about the subject. It seemed that she had some apprehensions about being reunited with Korra as well. “Over the past few years I realized that he just wanted a world where him and I would be safe. A world that he could protect me in. He sees the error in his ways now, and we’re working past it.”

 

“That’s great,” Korra said, and she genuinely meant it. Asami smiled at her, and Korra could see her relax a little after getting that off her chest. “I bet he’s really proud of everything you’ve done since he… you know-”

 

“He is,” Asami agreed, before Korra had a chance to embarrass herself trying to find a sensitive way to talk about getting Hiroshi arrested. “He really likes the direction I’ve taken Future Industries in. Especially when I had the old prison revamped.” 

 

“I can imagine,” Korra agreed with a little laugh. A comfortable silence fell over the two of them. 

 

“There was something else in the letter too,” Asami added after a moment had passed. The air between them got tense again as Korra anticipated what was to come. 

 

“What is it?” Korra asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

 

“Well, you know… you were gone so long,” Asami said nervously, dropping her gaze. “I thought about you a lot while you were away-”

 

“I thought about you a lot, too,” Korra agreed, encouraging her. Asami smiled a little, finding Korra’s hand on top of the covers. 

 

“I care about you a lot, Korra,” Asami breathed. “Seeing you almost die made me realize just how much. And at first, I thought it was just the emotions of the moment, but I had time to think about it for three years, and seeing you here tonight just solidifies what’s been on my mind for three years.”

 

Korra was lost for words, and her mind scrambled to try to catch a grip on something,  _ anything  _ even remotely intelligent to say in response. 

 

“We should go for dinner with Mako!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> torn between super flirty/suave korra and hopelessly awkward korra!!! sos!!


	5. Chapter 5

“We should go for dinner with Mako!”

 

Korra wanted to throw herself off a cliff. Of all the dumb things she’d said in all of her lifetimes, this one took the cake for being the  _ dumbest.  _ Asami furrowed her brow, apparently just as dumbfounded as Korra about her response. 

 

“Er… Yeah, we could,” Asami said, looking away. The discouraged look on her face nearly broke Korra’s heart. She needed to fix this, immediately. “He’s in town tomorrow and we had a reservation for 7:30 if you wanted to join.”

 

“Yeah, that works,” Korra said, deciding to just roll with the new direction of the conversation rather than making things worse than they already were. “I’ll see you then, I guess. And um… don’t tell anyone about tonight. No one knows I’m here yet.” 

 

“Yeah, that won’t be a problem,” Asami muttered, shifting away from Korra a little. “Do you need me to walk you out?”

 

“No thanks, I think I can find my way out,” Korra said glumly. She was hurt by the sudden dismissal, though it wasn’t uncalled for. “Good night, Asami.” 

 

“Night.”

 

Korra waited until she was safely outside the Sato property to let herself cry. She found Naga just where she had left her on the beach, and buried her face in the dense white fur of her companion. 

 

“I’m such an idiot!” she cried, balling her hands into fists. She was so frustrated that she could probably bend fire out of her nostrils. “Who decided it was a good idea to let me say things?!” 

 

Naga licked her face reassuringly, and it was enough for Korra to pull herself together enough to get back across the bay to Air Temple Island. 

 

“Ugh and I have to sit through dinner with both of them tomorrow! It’s going to be so awkward,” Korra continued when they got back to the shore of the island. “But if I bail it’ll just make things so much worse… I need to fix this.” 

 

She composed herself before sneaking back inside- the walls of Tenzin’s house were paper thin, and she didn’t want to draw any attention to herself with her crying. She lay down on her old bed, and didn’t find any comfort there either. This was supposed to be the best day ever, and she had ruined it. 

 

She reminded herself that nothing could be done until tomorrow. It wasn’t much to console herself, but it was enough to let her fall asleep. 

 

Early the next morning, she walked out to the gazebo, not to meditate, but to brainstorm ideas about how she was going to mend things with Asami. Flowers would probably be a decent start, but she didn’t want to alert Mako to anything going on between them. Things were already tense between them, and even though their love triangle was ancient history, but Korra figured he wouldn’t take kindly to the fact that she had stayed in touch with Asami and not him.

 

With a start, Korra finally realized what Asami had even  _ said  _ to her. She had been feeling the same way that Korra had this whole time- and she just had to go ahead and ruin it. Even more frustrated than before, she couldn’t help but shoot a plume of fire out of her hands into the air in front of her. 

 

“I’m no meditation expert, but I’m pretty sure fire bending isn’t a part of the process,” said a voice from behind her. Bumi. She wasn’t particularly close with Tenzin’s brother, but she had always admired his fun, carefree personality. If she’d had more free time, she probably would’ve been able to be pretty good friends with the guy. “Something on your mind, kid?”

 

“Ugh, yeah,” Korra muttered, leaning against the railing to stare out at the ocean. “I messed things up with Asami, big time.”

 

“Oh, I didn’t realize there was anything there  _ to  _ mess up,” Bumi replied, leaning beside her. 

 

“I guess there isn’t, not anymore,” Korra muttered. “She tried to tell me how she felt about me, but I got all flustered and suggested we hang out with the guy we both dated.”

 

Bumi laughed beside her, but stopped as soon as Korra shot him a death glare. 

 

“Sorry,” he said, stifling another laugh. “Listen, I’m sure things aren’t as bad as you think. Just tell her how you really feel! And explain that you were just nervous before.”

 

“You think she’d be willing to listen after all that?” Korra asked nervously. She hadn’t expected him to give such good advice. 

 

“If she meant what she said last night, then absolutely,” Bumi assured. “And some flowers wouldn’t hurt either.” 

 

“You’re right,” Korra agreed, collecting herself. “Thanks Bumi!” 

 

She took off to scour the island in search of some wildflowers. She knew Asami would prefer the fancy ones bought in stores in the city, but Korra couldn’t afford that. Taking so much time off of her avatar duties had left her pockets pretty empty. Plus, this seemed a little more personal, and would give her a good way to kill some time before she could go for dinner. 

 

Flowers were surprisingly hard to find on the island. It felt like she was walking for hours, and had little to no luck, except for a couple dandelions. She sat down on a boulder, slumping forward with frustration. Would she ever catch a break? Why couldn’t she just have  _ one  _ thing go right for once? If only she could bend plants. 

 

She perked up as the idea took flight in her mind. If everything was made up of the elements, and she could manipulate all of them, why shouldn’t she be able to spawn plants? She looked around until she found something she could practise on- a little aspen sapling at the edge of the forest. 

 

She focused on the water within it, as well as the earth it grew in. She was delighted to see the plant stretching upwards towards the sun between her hands, and cried out with joy. She could manipulate plants! She didn’t really know how it could help her in the future, but it was definitely neat to learn. Now to try growing a plant from scratch.

 

She needed something to manipulate. Even with regular earth bending, she couldn’t make earth appear from nothing. She picked up a pebble off the ground, and focused on every grain of compressed earth that it was composed of. Unfortunately, it just dissolved to dust instead of turning into a seed like she had hoped. 

 

She rolled her eyes. Of course. Because why would anything ever work out easily for her? She continued on her little mission to find some flowers, with no luck. 

 

By the time she gave up and headed back to the house, she was running late. She wouldn’t have time to change into something fancy, but she cleaned herself up and quickly ran a comb through her hair. She took a boat into town this time so she wouldn’t have to worry about Naga getting into trouble, and headed to the lobby of the hotel that Mako was staying at. 

 

She found Asami in the lobby, reading an engineering magazine. Her wavy hair was pulled back into a ponytail, but her make-up was still the same as always. She looked beautiful. 

 

“I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Korra said sheepishly as she approached Asami. Her stomach was on fire with nerves. 

 

“Not really,” Asami assured, setting down her magazine as she moved to stand up. Her guard was up, and Korra could tell.

 

“No, wait,” Korra said, sitting down on the couch beside the loveseat Asami was in. “I wanna talk to you about last night-”

 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Asami deflected. “I’m not upset if you don’t feel the same way. I shouldn’t have brought it up so soon after you got back-”

 

“No, not at all,” Korra protested, reaching out to grab Asami’s hand. “Listen, I was an idiot last night. I just got nervous and I didn’t know what to say, but you’ve been on my mind since the day I left and I care about you too, as more than a friend, and I…” 

 

She trailed off as she realized how wound up she was getting in such a public setting, and took a breath to steady herself. 

 

“I wanna make this up to you,” she said in a quieter tone. “Can I take you somewhere after dinner?” 

 

Asami smiled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Korra wondered if she had been tossing and turning all night as well. She nodded eagerly and Korra’s heart leaped. 

 

“Great, now let’s not keep Mako waiting too much longer,” Korra suggested. “You know how cranky he gets.”

 

“Yeah, you aren’t wrong,” Asami laughed, wiping her eyes before showing Korra to the restaurant. For all the jokes she had made at Mako’s expense the past two days, she was thrilled to see her friend, and ran to hug him. 

 

“Hello there,” said a nasally voice that cut their hug short. “Prince Wu, rightful heir to the throne and this guy’s boss. I bet he’s told you a lot about me!”

 

“Nope, not a thing,” Korra admitted, feeling more than uncomfortable about the unsolicited introduction. She looked to Mako and found him equally as disturbed as her. She had hoped the prince would take the hint and realize he wasn’t welcome in their reunion, but this only seemed to encourage him, somehow. 

 

“Then we have  _ so  _ much to talk about,” he gushed excitedly, putting his arm around her and leading her to the table. If it wasn’t her first time seeing Mako in three years, she might’ve been amused by his antics, but given the circumstances she found herself annoyed. “You are going to love the food here, I know the chef personally!”

 

As if on cue, a server approached their table. Before he could even introduce himself, Wu began ordering for the table.

 

“Let’s start with an order of the spicy octopus fritters- and keep the cucumber aloe water flowing!” he called to the server before turning back to her. “Gotta keep this princely skin hydrated.”

 

Despite his apparent interest in Korra, he hadn’t let her get a word in edgewise. Luckily, Asami and Mako came to her rescue, sliding into their booth. He was distracted by his aloe water for a moment, before leaning close to her.

 

“Hey, pop into the avatar state for me! I wanna see your eyes glow,” he requested. Korra’s stomach dropped. 

 

“What? No,” Korra said, pushing away a little to sit closer to Asami. 

 

“So you can go into the avatar state again, right?” Asami asked. “I meant to ask you, but I forgot.”

 

“Wait, how did you know she couldn’t?” Mako countered suspiciously. Asami looked to Korra for help, but she was just as lost. “What’s going on with you two?”

 

“It’s nothing, I just ran into Asami when I got back yesterday,” Korra cut in. It wasn’t a total lie, so she didn’t feel bad about concealing some of the truth. “We were catching up for a bit and she pointed out that she had dinner plans with you tonight and invited me to join.”

 

Satisfied with her answer, Mako let down his guard, leaning back against the seat. Korra relaxed a little too, taking a  sip of the aloe water that Wu had so highly praised. She had to admit, it was quite refreshing. 

 

It was good to catch up with Mako, and it seemed that their time apart had greatly reduced any romantic tension between the three of them- a fact that piqued Wu’s curiosity. 

 

“So wait, you two both dated Mako?” Wu clarified. Korra revelled in how embarrassed Mako looked. It was just so easy to get on his nerves. “And you’re all still friends?”

 

“Well, having to save the world has a way of keeping people together,” Asami supposed.

 

“And Asami’s been the only girl friend I’ve ever had,” Korra added, making sure to leave a distinct pause between the words ‘girl’ and ‘friend’ to eliminate any suspicion, though it only seemed to make Mako and Wu more intrigued. “I wasn’t gonna let a boy come between that.”

 

“Oh, so now I’m just a boy to you?” Mako huffed, crossing his arms. She wasn’t sure if he was joking, or genuinely put out by the comment. 

 

“Yeah, a sensitive little man-boy who is very helpful with his fire bending abilities,” Korra cooed, reaching across the table to pinch his cheeks. Mako slapped her hand away, and Korra laughed, Wu and Asami joining in.

 

“I’m not sensitive,” Mako insisted, but he was visibly pouting. 

 

“I’d say brooding is more like it,” Asami chimed in. Korra grinned.

 

“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that you two are friends?” Mako asked, sitting up to pick at his dinner. 

 

Korra felt a foot brush up against her leg under the table. At first she thought it was an accident and didn’t think anything of it, but after a few moments of her leg being rubbed up and down, she knew it was intentional. She dared to peek under the table and prayed that it wasn’t Wu’s foot, but was relieved and thrilled to find that it was Asami’s. She had to call upon all of her meditation training to keep herself composed and keep from blushing. 

 

“Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” Mako pressed. “You’re acting weird. Both of you.”

 

“Mako, don’t be rude,” Wu intervened before Korra had to come up with a flustered excuse- which recent events proved she was not very good at. “I think they’re acting very nicely.”

 

He waggled his eyebrows at the two of them, and Korra couldn’t help but roll her eyes. 

 

“We haven’t been all together in three years,” Asami pointed out reasonably. “There’s bound to be a bit of an adjustment period.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mako relented. “Korra, I was gonna head down to the gym after this, wanna come spar with me for a bit?”

 

“I actually have plans,” Korra said apologetically, her hand finding Asami’s under the table. “Only so much of me to go around, you know? But maybe tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Mako agreed, smiling. They all shuffled out of the booth to say their goodbyes. Mako pulled her into another hug. “It was really good to see you, finally.”

 

“It was good to see you too,” Korra replied, enjoying the familiarity of his embrace. Their relationship may not have been a total success, but she did always feel a little more at ease when he hugged her, even now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Mako and Wu went up to their rooms, leaving Asami to walk out of the hotel together. Korra’s heart raced in anticipation. 

 

“So, where are you taking me?” Asami asked, passing her the keys to her car. They seemed to burn a hole in Korra’s hand. She hated driving, especially with someone as skilled as Asami. And to make matters worse, she had no idea where she was going. 

 

“Uhh… It’s a surprise,” Korra said, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt. She threw in a wink for good measure. Asami smiled, sliding into the passenger’s seat. “Assuming I don’t kill us in a car crash before we get there.”

 

“You’ll be fine,” Asami promised. “It’s late, so there’s hardly anyone on the road. It’s the perfect time to learn to drive.” 

 

While Korra was glad to not have the pressure of other impatient drivers surrounding her, it didn’t exactly eliminate all of her nerves. She turned the car on successfully, and got it going along the cobblestone road without stalling it- more than she could say for her last driving experience. 

 

“So, unpopular opinion, but I think Wu is good for Mako,” Asami commented as they drove through the city. Korra gave her a curious look, making sure not to take her eyes off the road too long. “He needs to learn to relax a little. He’s so serious all the time, especially since you left.”

 

“Yeah, I told Bolin to force Mako to goof around a little while I was gone, but he said it was a losing battle he had been fighting his whole life,” Korra admitted. “It’s the most difficult job I’ve had as the avatar, I must admit.” 

 

Asami smiled at that. For the first time, Korra could see why Asami found driving so relaxing. Feeling the cold night air on her skin, watching how the city became more and more simple as they reached the country-side, and being in control of all of it… Maybe she could get used to it after all.

 

They reached a look-out spot that gave them a spectacular view of the city from afar. From this vantage point, it was just a distant collection of lights on the water, but still seemed huge to Korra, who had spent her whole life in small villages and barren tundras. Korra turned off the car and they got out to sit in the long soft grass. Asami curled up against Korra, resting her head on her shoulder. Korra put her arm around her in response and hoped Asami wasn’t stirred by how hard her heart was pounding. 

 

“I’m sorry about last night,” Korra said. “I was so embarrassed, and didn’t know how to fix it-”

 

“Well this is pretty good,” Asami assured, lifting her head to give her a little kiss on the cheek. “How did you find this place?”

 

“I actually had no idea this was here,” Korra admitted with a laugh. “I just kept driving until I found somewhere that seemed appropriate.”

 

“Well, I’m impressed,” Asami replied. “Because this is where my father used to take me for picnics as a kid. I thought you had somehow figured that out.”

 

“Oh- I had no idea,” Korra said, taken aback. “We can go somewhere else if this brings up anything for you.”

 

“No, it’s perfect,” Asami insisted. “Now that I’m on better terms with him, it doesn’t make me upset to remember the good times I had with him anymore.”

 

“Good, I’m glad,” Korra breathed. A silence fell over them, not entirely unpleasant, but there was an expectation of things to be said, and Korra knew she had to be the first to break that ice. “So, um… about what we talked about last night…”

 

Asami hummed, waiting patiently for what Korra had to say. Korra drew a shaky breath. She wasn’t going to rush this, she needed to choose her words way more carefully than last time. She wished there was an avatar state for flirting, because she felt totally helpless.

 

“You were there for me when I couldn’t be there for myself,” Korra started. “And even though I gave you next to nothing in return, you still offered your support and love to me when I needed it the most. I didn’t write you back for nearly three years, but you still wrote to me every week- actually, let me start over, I don’t like that one-”

 

“You’re doing fine,” Asami laughed, twining her arms around Korra’s waist to encourage her. “Keep going.”

 

“Okay… Um, when I was back home, I felt really hopeless about getting better, but every time I got a letter for you, I felt a little bit of motivation before even reading what you had to say, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to see you until I got better. For a long time I thought I was homesick for Republic City, but I realized I wanted  _ you.  _ You were on my mind from the minute I woke up until I went to sleep- and you were in my dreams too when I wasn’t having nightmares about Zaheer,” Korra paused for a second, realizing she had just admitted to having sex dreams about Asami. She wanted to kick herself. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, just the thought of you brings me so much comfort and I want to give you that too if you’d let me?” 

 

“I’d be lying if I said you didn’t stress me out,” Asami admitted, making Korra’s stomach flip upside down. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! “Between getting captured by the most evil people the world has ever seen, to your ridiculous stunts that you do for fun... It seems like I’m always worrying about you in some sense or another. But I care about you so much, and the time we had apart made me realize how empty I feel without you around.”

 

“Okay, now I’m confused,” Korra replied. “Are you saying you like me or I stress you out?”

 

“Both, you dummy,” Asami answered, pushing her down against the grass. Korra looked up into those impossibly soft green eyes. It wasn’t often that someone could catch the avatar off guard, let alone pin her down so easily, but Korra was more than happy to be in this position. In fact, she had never felt safer than under Asami’s secure hand on her shoulder. 

 

And when Asami leaned down to kiss her… Korra felt like herself again. Like the 17 year old that had come to Republic City with nothing but an empty title- a blank slate. No trauma, no scars, and no inhibitions. 

 

She felt free.


	6. Chapter 6

It was Korra’s first time kissing a girl. She had expected it to be the same as kissing boys, but this was much different. The way that Asami’s body curved against her own, the softness of everything, and the sweet smell of her perfume… It was absolute euphoria. 

 

That kiss wasn’t long lived but it certainly wasn’t the last. Asami looked down at her with soft eyes that were hazy with emotions that Korra couldn’t distinguish. But her mind wasn’t really up for deciphering all of them- she’d have plenty of time to overthink it later. But for now, all she could do was flip Asami over to kiss her again. She could feel her smiling against her lips and her heart melted. 

 

She felt Asami’s arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. Without thinking, Korra ground her hips against Asami’s, who moaned before Korra even had time to get embarrassed about it. With the stakes raised, Korra got a little more experimental. Her hand trailed from Asami’s jaw down to the collar of her shirt, pressing gently along her prominent collarbone to eventually squeezing her breast. 

 

“Korra,” Asami breathed with the lilt of a laugh on her voice. “Slow down.”

 

“Did I do something wrong?” Korra asked, her heart leaping into her throat as she pushed herself off Asami a little. Asami laughed a little.

 

“No, of course not,” Asami assured. “I just don’t want our first time to be out here where anyone could find us.”

 

Korra nodded, seeing where Asami was coming from. She was a little disappointed, but once she had cooled down a little from the heated moment, she too was reluctant to get naked outside. She had been kidnapped a few too many times to feel comfortable being even slightly vulnerable out in the open.

 

“But I have a bed that would be perfect,” Asami added, sliding out from Korra and standing up, reaching down to take Korra’s hands and help her to her feet, which Korra was happy to accept. “I’ll drive us home. No offense, but this was a ten minute drive and it took you an hour to get here.”

 

“Hey, I took the scenic route because I thought it would be romantic,” Korra insisted as she crawled into the passenger’s seat. “I’d say it worked pretty well, if you ask me.”

 

“Yeah, I guess it did, didn’t it?” Asami laughed. She leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Korra’s lips. “I’d take the scenic route with you any day.” 

 

A shiver ran down Korra’s spine, and Asami smirked as she started the car. Korra couldn’t help but smile too, wishing she had come back months ago if it meant she’d be this happy. For the first time since it happened, Zaheer couldn’t have been farther from her mind, and she was finally just happy to be in this particular moment. 

 

“So… have you ever done it with a girl?” Korra dared to ask as they made their way down the winding hill towards the city. 

 

“Done what?” Asami asked, feigning innocence. Korra rolled her eyes. “You can say the sex word, Korra.”

 

“Okay fine! Have you ever fucked a girl?” Korra reiterated, causing Asami to laugh again. If she wasn’t so put out about being called out on her childish tendencies, she would’ve laughed along with her. Now she just felt stupid for bringing it up in the first place.

 

“Yeah, once,” Asami admitted. Korra was a little surprised, raising her eyebrows to prompt Asami to elaborate. “Nothing too monumental- the idea of being intimate with a girl had been on my mind for a while, and I got my first chance with some stranger I met at a bar.” 

 

_ Being intimate. _ Asami could make anything sound elegant and soft. Korra couldn’t even conjure an idea of what she’d be like if she were drunk. Was she truly this poised all the way to her golden core, or was it just a mask? The thought of finding out thrilled Korra, and she added it onto her growing to-do list.

 

“Was that before or after you dated Mako?” Korra pressed on curiously. 

 

“Oh definitely after, there’s no way I would’ve dated him after I had experienced… that,” Asami joked. Korra smirked in agreement as she considered the implication. She certainly hadn’t dated him for his sexual capabilities. 

 

“Oh, who can’t say it now?” Korra teased, grinning wickedly now that she had the upper hand. Asami shrugged simply. 

 

“I can’t put into words what I’m going to do to you later,” Asami explained nonchalantly. Korra’s jaw went slack, officially speechless. Asami laughed. She settled back against the seat and barely said a word the whole way back to the Sato mansion. 

 

Asami practically dragged Korra to her bedroom when they got there, but Korra wasn’t going to let her have it so easily. She pulled her bedroom door shut behind them before pushing Asami up against it to kiss her. Asami made a little noise of surprise against Korra’s mouth, and Korra took her bottom lip between her teeth. 

 

But Asami wasn’t done with her own surprises yet. Wrapping her arms around Korra’s midsection, she scooped her up. Korra’s legs straddled her as if by instinct, but inside her heart pounded with adrenaline. Pinning her down on the bed, Asami let her hands roam Korra’s body, which seemed to twitch at every touch. She was rarely this sensitive, but the thought of having Asami had been on her mind for three whole years, and she was getting impatient. 

 

She reached up and started working on the various buttons and zippers of Asami’s dress. Luckily it wasn’t as complicated as it looked, and in no time, the dress was on the floor and Asami was hovering over Korra in a black lace bra and matching underwear. Korra groaned.

 

“Do you always look this pretty, or were you expecting this to happen?” she asked, revelling in the sight of her. 

 

“Yeah it’s pretty much all the time,” Asami agreed, getting to work on Korra’s clothes. “But I never look this good,” she pointed out, trailing a finger across Korra’s toned abs. She shuddered again, but this time Asami felt every tremor of it. She flattened her hand against Korra’s breast and leaned down to kiss her again. 

 

Korra let her own hands explore a little, too. Asami’s skin was softer than anything she’d ever felt, and was almost scared she was going to rip the skin with her rough, calloused hands. But this only seemed to encourage Asami, who eagerly rolled her hips in response. 

 

“Are you ready?” Asami breathed, her hand travelling down towards the line of Korra’s underwear. Upon feeling the wetness she found down there, she found her answer. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

Korra nodded eagerly and let Asami take control of the moment, dissolving in an overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

 

Korra awoke the next morning with Asami wrapped up in her arms, sleeping soundly. Her heart fluttered at how soft she looked while she slept, with no trace of the makeup or glamour that made her look so poised all the time. She almost wished she could draw, like Meelo, to capture the moment. 

 

Sunlight flooded heavily through the window, indicating that it was at least late morning. She knew that she should get going, despite wanting nothing more to indulge in the moment, and perhaps re-live a few from the night before. Republic City had just gotten their avatar back, and they wouldn’t take lightly to her taking days off for her lesbian affairs. So with a heavy heart, she pressed a couple kisses to Asami’s porcelain shoulder to wake her.

 

“Korra? What is it?” Asami asked sleepily, rolling over in Korra’s arms to look at her. They looked at each other for a moment, and Asami reached out to gingerly caress Korra’s face. It seemed like she was in as much disbelief about their current situation as Korra was. 

 

“I need to go back to Tenzin’s place,” she announced sadly. Asami made no movement to allow this, but at the same time, Korra didn’t release her gentle hold on her either.

 

“Shh,” Asami murmured. “The city doesn’t need you yet, but I do.” 

 

“You make this so difficult,” Korra whined. “Come with me?” 

 

“Future Industries needs me today too,” Asami relented, sobering up a little. “I have a meeting with some contractors to talk about housing on the north side of the city.” 

 

Gone were the days that she had her entourage of friends tagging along on her avatar duties. She knew she was partially to blame for that development, since everyone had moved on with their lives during her absence, but a part of her would always miss having everyone there to help her all the time. Reluctantly, she let go of Asami and sat up, stretching her back as she did so. She felt cold without Asami curled up against her, but she fiercely fought the urge to just crawl back under the sheets. If she could survive Zaheer’s poison, she could survive this. 

 

The poison was easier. 

 

When they walked downstairs, Korra was surprised to find that Mako was already there. Her heart jumped into her throat, knowing he would be suspicious about her being at the mansion this early in the day. He had a serious, frustrated look on his face before he even lay eyes on Korra. 

 

“Mako, what are you doing here?” Asami asked, taking his attention away from his cousin that he was talking to. 

 

“I came to ask you to help me look for Korra… But it seems like you already found her,” he explained with an accusational tone to his voice that was impossible to miss. He turned his attention to Korra. “Tenzin and his family were worried sick when you didn’t come home last night. And I was too when I found out- I thought something must’ve happened to you on your way home from your… plans last night.”

 

“Yeah, about that… I went for some drinks with a friend and got a little too drunk, so I had Asami come pick me up,” Korra said, hoping she sounded more convincing than she thought. “It was late so I just stayed the night here.”

 

“Who’s this ‘friend’?” Mako pressed. Korra’s heart dropped. Of course he’d ask for names.

 

“Um, actually, it was one of Asami’s security guys,” Korra formulated quickly, glancing to Asami for some support.

 

“Yeah, Ken,” Asami confirmed. 

 

“I met him yesterday when I came to meet Asami at her house,” Korra elaborated, feeling a little more confident as her story became a little more believable. “Funny story actually, he didn’t believe I was the avatar and wasn’t gonna let me through to see Asami until she came down to explain the situation. He felt so bad that he said he’d buy me a drink to make up for it, and one drink led to ten…” 

 

“Okay, whatever,” Mako said, exasperated. “Korra, there’s some trouble in the spirit wilds, we need you and Jinora to go investigate. She’s already down there, I suggest you go meet her before she gets into any trouble of her own.”

 

Put off by his dismissive tone, Korra pushed past him without even saying good bye to Asami. She’d gladly make up for it later if it meant not having to deal with sugar coating things for her sensitive ex boyfriend. She found Naga sniffing around the Sato property, and didn’t stop to ask why. She swung onto the polar bear dog’s back, and raced towards the spirit wilds, grateful that she didn’t have to drive or deal with Mako’s prying anymore.

 

She found Jinora with Opal, searching through the spirit vines. 

 

“Korra! There you are!” Jinora greeted brightly upon seeing her. “We were starting to wonder where you had gone off to.”

 

“Yeah, sorry about that, I’ll explain later,” Korra promised. She knew Jinora would be dying to know what happened with Asami, and she was kind of looking forward to telling someone about it after going to such lengths to hide it from Mako. “What’s going on here?”

 

“Ryu’s tour group went missing,” Jinora explained. 

 

“So? He probably just took them to the mall or something,” Korra assured. It was no secret that the kid lacked a work ethic, but she was skeptical about the situation. She had heard his mother was going to be on that tour group, and surely she would’ve stepped in if he was being lazy.

 

“I guess, but doesn’t something feel  _ off  _ to you?” Jinora insisted. Korra shrugged.

 

“Not really, but I’ll see if I can get a reading,” Korra offered, reaching down to touch one of the vines. It was just like the swamp she had found Toph in, and found herself connected with every living thing for miles. It didn’t take her long at all to find the tour group, encased in gel-like pods. 

 

However, when they got to their location, she found that she couldn’t open the capsules, with any form of bending. They were safe, but for how long? 

 

“They’re trapped in the spirit world,” Korra announced grimly. She had been dreading the day she’d have to go back to the spirit world. She hadn’t tried to since she was recovering from her battle with Zaheer, because she was scared of the very probable chance that she wouldn’t be able to go back into the spirit world. She had lost her connection with Raava before, and she knew that it wasn’t currently at it’s full potential. She could feel the spirit’s energy within her, but it was like being underwater and having only a vague awareness of what’s going on in the world above.

 

“Can you help them?” Opal asked worriedly. 

 

“Not yet. But I’ll think of something,” Korra promised. “You two stay here and make sure that no one else gets taken by the vines, and I’ll go figure out how to get them back.”

 

Jinora nodded, and Korra went running back to Naga. She was grateful that she wouldn’t have to embarrass herself in front of the two young air benders, knowing full well that she wouldn’t be able to rescue their friends. But she knew why. Part of her always knew that this would be a part of her healing process, but she didn’t expect it to be so daunting. She had expected herself to be a lot stronger by the time she was ready for this part.

 

She was going to have to go see Zaheer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for ripping so much on mako haha, there's lots of him in the next chapter though!!


End file.
